The Vast Expanse

January 26, 2012

26 January, 2012

I was chasing someone through a water ride at an amusement park. At some point, I remove my shoes. By the time we get to the street, I start feeling pain in my feet and I give up on the chase returning to get my shoes.

I walk halfway up a hill to meet my boyfriend. We share a brief conversation, agreeing to meet the next day. He kisses my forehead and we part ways.

I’m walking home and one of my exes tries hitting on me. I’m just like “okay bye now” and keep walking home.

The next morning, my mom is fussing over my appearance because she knows it’s our anniversary. In the dream, I totally forgot. I silently berate myself, How could I have forgotten… and almost realize that I’m only dreaming. But the pieces repel each other and I continue to meet him in the dream world.

We meet in the amusement park from earlier, this one part of it is a huge room built like one of Escher’s creations. Even gravity was altered to fit it. It was beautiful. I could walk up the stairs to the ceiling and walk the ceiling back down.

We met eyes, but didn’t speak. Like we were spies and part of me was just watching the dream. Through a window to outside the Escher room, I spot two older women, armed, with faces like they’re about to kill.

So my boyfriend takes a seat near one of the windows, only slightly out of view of the women, and I take a seat behind a wall, able to sneak peeks at them.

I’m not quite sure what happens after that. Chaos, violence, screaming guests stampeding out the exits, a nice little battle in the world of Escher…

But by the end of it all, neither of us remember anything. He and I are like little kids sitting at the back of a pickup truck. A old man, dressed like the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz, hands each of us a fluffy dog to keep. He tells us that a dog is good company to keep in the wake of something traumatizing.

And so little Bretney and little John ride home like little children with new pet dogs and a fresh slate of memory.

This has to be good somehow.

6:45am | URL: http://tumblr.com/ZlAt8wFOmM5i

(Notes: 1)

Filed under: dream

January 23, 2012

23 January, 2012

I’ve been having trouble remembering this one, but throughout the day, I’ll see fragments of it and know for sure that this was definitely a dream.

Something about a store. Probably like Target or WalMart. It was a eerie, the sky was dimmed like a dying lamp and I was pushing a cart around with what might have been a dead body in it.

I was absolutely terrifed.

8:07pm | URL: http://tumblr.com/ZlAt8wFH1wKF

Filed under: dream sucks when you can only remember parts of dreams

January 17, 2012

15 January, 2012

bretneyangela:

Okay so I had a dream with Enrique from El Método, from this movie we saw in Jarvis’ class.

We were in this van that was full of people and friends or friends having fun and I was in the second row of seats and he was behind me, he starts caressing my neck and clearly, I enjoyed it.

Ha well I did say Ernesto Alterio was hot. I wouldn’t mind him seducing me in my dreams another night.

7:50pm | URL: http://tumblr.com/ZlAt8wEyPw2A

(Notes: 1)

Filed under: dream

January 17, 2012

13 December, 2011

bretneyangela:

You know when you have a dream and you wake up and you remember CLEARLY what happened and you tell yourself a couple of things to make sure that you still remember it later?

This morning I woke up from a dream, and told myself two things:

“I apologize”

Trains

What sucks is, now I have almost no idea what the hell I meant.

I remember vague images of it though. I was in Chinatown, wandering around, and I run into this guy that once asked me change for a dollar while we were both waiting for the Beeline that goes to GHS.

We share a few words, a few laughs…we both say to each other, “I apologize” in a kind of sing-song-joking-around voice. And then the light mood suddenly changes when he says “We really are so similar.” It sounds like something lovely to hear, but at the time, it sounded like he was predicting the apocalypse or something of the sort. I walk on.

Now this next part is kind of hazy. The trains part comes in here I think. I’m not sure whether I ride the trains or just see them, but one second, I’m in a bustling and busy Chinatown, and in the next, I’m in the same place, but it’s deserted. Like ruins. The ruins of Chinatown. And I want to go back, to see busy people, to know what he meant, and I can’t,

but I woke up the next morning, freezing and in horrible, horrible pain.

7:49pm | URL: http://tumblr.com/ZlAt8wEyPhQv

(Notes: 1)

Filed under: dream

January 17, 2012

30 October, 2011

bretneyangela:

I had a dream that I went to Disneyland alone.

But Disneyland was different, it was my own “happiest place on earth.” It ran along the coast of the Pacific, and was separated into sections. They were so beautiful. One was meant for kayaking through a pond kind of place with wooden poles sticking out of the water everywhere, and the pink sky completed it.

Then to end my lovely stroll through Disneyland was the last piece of it. Just water, as far as the eye could see. And I was walking on it, it was amazing. I walked a little further to the edge of nothingness where the sky was both above and below us, and sat next to him.

He tried so hard to snatch me away. He crawled behind me, held me close to him, whispered sweet things in my ear, but it didn’t feel right. That boy was different from the real one. I don’t know why, other than that he would never do that. Plus he’s too far away from me.

As a friend.

7:48pm | URL: http://tumblr.com/ZlAt8wEyPUzu

(Notes: 4)

Filed under: dream

January 17, 2012

22 October, 2011

bretneyangela:

Last night I had a weird dream.

I was living in Greece with my Macedonian friend [cough if you see this don’t freak it’s just a dream] and he was my secret lover because my father did not approve [okay now you have permission to freak].

We run away and never return home, and people are constantly chasing us. When we’re not being chased, he calls me darling, and Grecian Bretney is constantly freaking out whenever he does, probably because that’s what John calls me, and while I was in my own dream world, John was that memory I couldn’t remember clearly.

We stroll through a labyrinth, go swimming in a clear, shallow river, and have a dandy old time.

And then I woke up.

7:47pm | URL: http://tumblr.com/ZlAt8wEyP8fP

(Notes: 1)

Filed under: dream

January 17, 2012

7 August, 2011

bretneyangela:

I had a very pleasant dream last night.

I was a freshman all over again, good grades, light homework, a few funny friends, (very) inappropriate teacher crushes.

Then I woke up.

-_____-

7:45pm | URL: http://tumblr.com/ZlAt8wEyOpTA

Filed under: dream

January 17, 2012

25 June, 2011

bretneyangela:

I totally forgot what it was, but I woke up with the feeling of being in the world of that nightmare still in me. And that feeling kept telling me, hauntingly, to take AP Lang.

Ridiculous? Haha maybe. But now I’m dead scared of not taking it. Like I know that it might not be the best decision and that I might kill myself with work junior year, but after that nightmare, I just have to take that class.

Ciotti emailed me my grade, so…

Hi Bretney,

You got a B for the semester: 88.8%. It was on the close side to an A, but still a B. I’m sure you are a little disappointed. Your writing has been good, but sometimes inconsistent. At times you wrote beautiful prose, and at other times, somewhat unfocused. But overall, you did fine work, nothing to sniff at.

Have a fine summer,

Ciotti

Gahhhh. So close. People are telling me that I can still take the class if i have an A or a high B even without the recommendation? I mean, come on, it was Ciotti of all teachers...

7:43pm | URL: http://tumblr.com/ZlAt8wEyOS1b

(Notes: 1)

Filed under: dream kind of

January 17, 2012

3 April, 2011

bretneyangela:

I had a dream that I time traveled a couple decades back, and I was strolling along a pathway in seaworld, alone. Watching the marine life seem to dance, the water looked scary and unwilling to remain in tanks simply for human entertainment.

Then all of a sudden I had a deja vu experience, the water was overflowing and octopi [octopuses? debate for me please.] were running amuck…

Snap back to reality, I’m in a log ride [I don’t even think seaworld has a log ride…] with [front to back order] George Harrison in front, me second, John Lennon behind me, and some stranger behind John. as our log [it has a roof over it with an emergency exit hatch] starts descending slightly on the track, a half tube kinda thing with water in it, like a river, I freak out and tell George that I can’t swim. He tries and reassures me, telling me that he can’t swim either. That’s when we start talking lots.

George opens the emergency exit hatch, the upper half of his body pops out and he yells off the edge of the mountain [the track of the log ride was along the side of a mountain] and then sees a tunnel, gets back inside.

In the tunnel, the log ride stops, though the track continues. inside the cave-like tunnel, there are lights and instruments, and Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr were inside waiting. So lucky me, I get to watch The Beatles perform Something live! So beautiful, it felt so real.

Paul and Ringo stay behind with the stranger while John, George, and I continue the log ride. Eventually my deja vu moment from earlier comes true, and the water overflows all over the park, including the track to our log ride. Our log winds up going down a few streets and walkways, and we’re so scared. George and I sit in the front while John cowers in the back, George and I kick our legs up and down so as to keep the log moving down the slope of the mountain, occasionally running by a few stores and people and such…

Then the scene moves to a convenience store. George, John, and I are buying funyuns and stuff and we see on the TV that there was a tragedy at SeaWorld, octopi [or octopuses, i don’t know?!!?!] were devouring people whole [Is that even possible? Does SeaWorld even have octopi/octopuses]! George shares a somber embrace, fearful for Paul and Ringo’s lives while John just freaks out. So we get kicked out of the convenience store.

And the scene moves again to a dimly lit stairwell. There’s blood on the walls and on the railing. John, George and I huddle in fear, in silence with a dozen women and children, poor farmer peasants from Russia. Jews. Outside we hear search dogs looking for us, and hints of German in the officers’ commands: the Nazis are hunting us down.

And the Nazis barge down the door, and seize us all! We’re in the back of a Nazi truck, hugging in the darkness, scared, afraid, awaiting death. George and I talk for awhile, for therapeutic reasons.

me: This may sound blunt, but aren’t you dead?
George: Nope. it’s currently 1980. You’re not supposed to be born yet, aren’t you?
me: Nope. If it’s 1980, how are the Nazis hunting down Jews still?
George: I don’t know. But you’re aware what might happen to us, right?
me: [swallow] yeah.
George: [hug]

And fade to black. I wake up. Yeah, so I totally have a crush on the dead George Harrison. Ohh well. Dreams. I should probably stop eating before sleeping.

7:41pm | URL: http://tumblr.com/ZlAt8wEyNpfx

(Notes: 2)

Filed under: dream

January 17, 2012

12 February, 2011

bretneyangela:

I had a dream that I was trying to talk to people, but no one would listen. It was like they didn’t even see me. Eventually I realized I was dead, and that it was just my spirit walking the earth.

It was scary. I would try to meet people’s gazes with mine, but it wouldn’t work, and I didn’t know where to go or what to do.

I never found who killed me.

Is this a wake up call for me? Or the result of too many movies + sleep deprivation?